John Wooden, a revered college basketball coach, once said, “The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.” Of course there’s a lot of truth in this: if I can overcome temptation when I am alone, then I am doing what is right because it is right, and not for the more superficial motive of others’ esteem. Christ himself warns us, When you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret (Mt 6:3-4).
But not doing good things because others are watching is not the same thing as not doing good things when others are watching. The same Christ who taught us about giving alms in secret also taught us, You are the light of the world…. Your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father (Mt 5:14, 16).
One of the great gifts and responsibilities of fatherhood is living with others watching. This was an uncomfortable thing to learn as a dad. Your family probably knows if you give alms. The “inner room” to which you retire to pray (Mt 6:6) is probably the living room. A frequent opportunity to be called “blessed” by the Lord is to be constantly on call to provide a drink of cold water for these “little ones” (Mt 10:42)—usually at bedtime.
To balance Coach Wooden’s insight, we might say: “A good way for a man to grow in character is for him to live knowing that others are watching.”
