“You’re always the last one downstairs!” As our children get older, we can tend to pigeon-hole them according to their vices. Those moments of frustration can become an ongoing theme in our relationship with them. What can we do to break free of the cycle of criticism and restore these relationships? We are tempted to think, “as soon as he or she stops x, y, z, we will have a better relationship.” Yet the answer is to be found in admitting that what’s wrong with the world is me. The restoration starts with me—with our hearts being refashioned in the likeness of God the Father.
In the parable of the prodigal son, we often identify ourselves with the younger son, but picture being the father (Lk 15:11-32). Imagine your child squandering your property in loose living. This is surely a grave offense! But we can be tempted to indignation when something as little as our time is wasted. The father’s response in the parable challenges us. Having compassion, the father ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him. And he goes further still: Bring the finest robe…put a ring on his finger…let us celebrate with a feast. When faced with my children’s faults, and my desire to love as the Father does, I am reminded of Saint John Paul II’s affirmation: “You are not the sum of your weaknesses and failures; you are the sum of the Father’s love for you and your real capacity to become the image of his Son.”
